disclaimer: I complain alot September 8, 2008

This is collection of two days worth of complaints. I wrote them while at the office. I think i need to start smoking again. haha. like they would let me smoke here in Jambi! I will warn you, I hate myself when I read this.

9.5 Jumat

I don’t really know what it is they do here. I mean, what am I doing here? i guess i should have utilized the teaching resources available to me, huh? you know at pkbi, unmarried women can not get pap smears. the reason, because it is dangerous. what?! where the f*** did they get that information? so basically, i am not eligible to have an exam (I’m guessing divorcees are allowed?) I am sitting here, reading and researching how the hell to teach and plan a curriculum from scratch and i am not sure what it is they are doing. i think she is on her cell phone sending text messages and he is doodling with his head halfway resting on her desk.i don’t care, of course, it is their prerogative. its just an interesting observation. i am pretty sure that ramadan definitely changes their workload. other interesting judgmental comments include woman whipping out their breasts in public, anywhere, while covered in a jilbab.
so here it is 2:24 and i think people are still working. incredible. after work i am going to buy my ticket to jakarta and a new pair of pants. i am so excited for this trip. it is going to be really relaxing, i can feel it in my bones.
9.8 Senin
So it is Monday. back to the old grind right? haha. i am really getting tired of the cell phone situation in indonesia. i mean every single person has a ring tone that is actually a song, and not only do they ring/play at the highest possible volume setting, often times they let it play through because they like the song.
another tidbit: well, as i may have explained, i am living in a semi-homestay. i eat meals with the family everyday which is really nice. i am not a huge fan of the food though. i feel bad about it, ibu is great but i am just not that into food here in jambi-i guess i need time for it grow on me. also, they don’t keep a large selection of fruit on hand, which i would like. anyway so yesterday i went to the market. i bought 6 little yogurts, a pear, 2 mangoes, 2 apples, a small loaf of bread and some strawberry jam. that was yesterday at apprx. 1 o’clock. This morning this is what I had left: 3/4 of a loaf of bread, half an apple, 1 yogurt and my jam. now keep in mind that i had eaten 1 apple and 1 yogurt. thats it. so is the sharing both ways? i can’t keep the food in my house because i am not interested in an ant infestation, which will happen. so my choices are to either talk to them about eating my food, or just buy ALOT of what i want in the hopes that some will be left. whatever. i guess i just need to eat faster. duh.
reproductive health. its where my brain is at right now folks. just at the research stage right now, but still, its all i think about. well, that and how i perpetually find ways to make myself uncomfortable but thats another story.

ok-enough complaining already. i really enjoyed my day today. I went to the police station to register myself as a foreigner working in Jambi. It is still amazing to me what a novelty I am. Blatant laughter in my face. Its cute I guess. As we walked out of the police station, the woman Sumi who was helping me pointed out all of the trucks in the parking lot. All the confiscated trucks filled to the brim with illegal logging. wow.

I spent the rest of my day reading about adolescent sexual and reproductive health. it is incredible. 85% of “adolescent” age people claim they have NEVER been talked to about sexual and reproductive health. Some common beliefs include: you can’t get pregnant if you only have sex once or that you can only get HIV/AIDS (because they don’t even know the difference) from sleeping with a prostitute. If only these were true!!! ahhh. I have so much to say about this but it would probably bore the hell out of you so I will stop.

*****ATTENTION ENTOURAGE FANS**************

I am obsessed. Now, I have HBO here, but I am almost 100% sure that Entourage does not air on HBO Asia. I just finished watching the first episode from season 5 on youtube, and while the quality was awful, it was still Entourage.

reality tv or dorm life, I can’t decide July 20, 2008

So I am staying at the International Center at the University.  I personally have never lived the “dorm” life nor have I been in a reality tv show (although I have seen my share).  This training experience is kind of what I would expect dorm life to be, or a reality show without drama. It is actually pretty fun, I can see how young college students could get distracted.  It is about 25 of us and I have to say that we do all of activities together. People leave their doors open, some just relaxing, some playing cards or chatting.  It is really a foreign sort of thing, even thought I have always, with the exception of maybe six months, lived with others.  And yes, as I approach my 28th birthday, I wonder, am I perhaps a bit too old for all of this?  Is taking the next year of my life to essentially work for free (…actually the opportunity cost, in dollars of course, reveals that I am in fact in the red) such a great plan?  I have given myself the chance to ponder this.  Today was my ”free” day.  Weird, right? Anyhow, I walked through the city, walked past shops and little food stalls and thought about last time I was here and how different everything is now.  Not just the development of the city but my life.  I mean the reality of turning 28 is a stitch harsh, at least for me anyhow.  And then, as I am sitting there in the pouring rain on a step, smoking a ciggarette by myself, I started feeling really strange. As if everything was so unfamiliar and I just wanted to come home.  I actually felt a little bit scared.  The rain made it easy for me to sit in that spot for a while.  Even feeling the weird feelings I was experiencing. And then it really hit me.  I am alone now.  Not in my heart, not in my head, not really alone.  But just physically.  I am physically away from everything that makes me smile when I am sad, or laugh or whatever. And that made me feel sad.  It isn’t being 28, and what are you doing with your life…?  It is a normal sadness that comes with missing your peeps.  (shout out to Buddy…I had pad thai at Good Clean Food and it is exactly the same!!)  So I walked back to Internatinal Center and got soaking wet.  And then I learned how to play Brazilian poker with my new friends.