So I am staying at the International Center at the University. I personally have never lived the “dorm” life nor have I been in a reality tv show (although I have seen my share). This training experience is kind of what I would expect dorm life to be, or a reality show without drama. It is actually pretty fun, I can see how young college students could get distracted. It is about 25 of us and I have to say that we do all of activities together. People leave their doors open, some just relaxing, some playing cards or chatting. It is really a foreign sort of thing, even thought I have always, with the exception of maybe six months, lived with others. And yes, as I approach my 28th birthday, I wonder, am I perhaps a bit too old for all of this? Is taking the next year of my life to essentially work for free (…actually the opportunity cost, in dollars of course, reveals that I am in fact in the red) such a great plan? I have given myself the chance to ponder this. Today was my ”free” day. Weird, right? Anyhow, I walked through the city, walked past shops and little food stalls and thought about last time I was here and how different everything is now. Not just the development of the city but my life. I mean the reality of turning 28 is a stitch harsh, at least for me anyhow. And then, as I am sitting there in the pouring rain on a step, smoking a ciggarette by myself, I started feeling really strange. As if everything was so unfamiliar and I just wanted to come home. I actually felt a little bit scared. The rain made it easy for me to sit in that spot for a while. Even feeling the weird feelings I was experiencing. And then it really hit me. I am alone now. Not in my heart, not in my head, not really alone. But just physically. I am physically away from everything that makes me smile when I am sad, or laugh or whatever. And that made me feel sad. It isn’t being 28, and what are you doing with your life…? It is a normal sadness that comes with missing your peeps. (shout out to Buddy…I had pad thai at Good Clean Food and it is exactly the same!!) So I walked back to Internatinal Center and got soaking wet. And then I learned how to play Brazilian poker with my new friends.
